Twilight fanfiction-What do you think?

this is for my 7th grade english assignment, its about twilight, what do you think?

All I was hoping for was that she’d be okay. I was so many miles away, and if she needed me, I wouldn’t be there. But this is crazy, she’s being protected. We’re going to keep her safe- we had to keep her safe. A beeping noise broke my chain of thought. I pulled out my phone and when I reached it to my ear, I went frozen. I couldn’t move. I dropped the device and started running. I need to get to the place Alice saw in her vision. I knew this place- Bella’s mom’s house. Alice said Bella had gone missing. My mind was going a thousand thoughts a second. I was closer now, but I need to go faster, I pushed harder. Finally, the house was in sight.
I pushed myself, and burst through the front window, not caring that I had ripped the curtains from the wall. Then it hit me. The scent of blood, Bella’s blood filled the air. I could hardly stand it. Then the truck hit me. Plowing me into the fish tank. Water flowed every where, and flopping gold-fish and glass lay all over the floor. Just at that moment the others arrived. Carlisle and Alice rushed to Bella’s aid. They moved around frantically and I silently prayed that she would be okay. Jasper started to tear up everything that was made from wood, while Emmett lit the flame. Suddenly the room felt a thousand degrees hotter. All this happened in a matter of seconds. I tried to move Victoria closer to the flames. Emmett jumped up, and a red ball rolled to the floor. I could hear the crunching, the tearing of limb by limb, throwing pieces into the fire. I left Jasper and Emmett to do the rest. I rushed over to Bella. ” Whats going on Carlisle?”
“Edward, I don’t know how to say this… There’s nothing we can do. We got here to late.” Carlisle replied in sad tone.
” Not even…?”
“Not even that, it’s too late.” Carlisle murmured quickly, but he sounded like he would be crying, if he could.
I was numb again. I couldn’t feel anything. It was like I was floating in mid-air. How could I do that to her!? It was all my fault! I got here too late. If I actually stayed with her like I should have, none of this would be happening! How cold I do this to Charlie? To Renee?
Three days later was her Funeral. I recognized Phil and Renee, crying. And I saw Charlie, trying to hold back his tears, but no succeeding. I recognized Angela and Ben, and Jessica and Mike; all crying. The story was, that while we were vacationing in Arizona, Bella wasn’t paying attention, she crossed the street without looking both ways. She was hit by an on-coming truck. We decorated her body, to make it look there there was some sort of accident.
Four months later. After Bella’s death. It was now may. I had run halfway to Alaska, but decided to run back. I spent most of the time just running, or hunting. I hunted a lot these days. It got my mind off of Bella, until I realized it was taking my mind off her, so then I started to think about her some more. Everyday it gets harder to say and hear her name. it’s like if I hear it, I’ll die. Knowing that I took away her life. What kind of sick…being, does that to another? I don’t know, but I’m that sick being. I don’t go to school anymore, and I don’t talk to anyone anymore, not even my family.
Last night, I snuck into Charlies house, while he was fast asleep. I took Bella’s photo album, and her favorite CD. When I got home, I hurried up to my room, played the CD and looked through the album. I would be crying right now, if I could. Bella’s lullaby started playing then. I couldn’t stand it. I jumped out the window, and ran. I didn’t know where I was going, but I needed to go somewhere. I didn’t want to live anymore. I couldn’t, not without her. It was then, that something happened, that I wasn’t expecting. I heard her voice.
“Edward go home, this is crazy.”
I stopped, mid-stride. Did I really hear what I think I heard? No way, I thought. I’m going crazy. That seems to have been happening a lot the last few months. I kept on running, I just couldn’t get her off my mind.
“Edward, stop. Please, just go home.”
There is was again. Obviously not my imagination. I stopped. Turned, and started to run home.
“Thank-You.” Was all I heard.
I ran, and ran. I hadn’t realized that I had gone this far. I tried to hear her voice again. It wouldn’t come back.
After about two weeks of not hearing her, I decided to go running. I needed to hear her voice. It was like my drug. My own personal brand of heroine, I thought back to that memory, and laughed. It was then I realized I was getting better.
“I love you.” said her voice.
And I continued running, not knowing where I would end up..