My unborn son’s father left me at 6 months pregnant 2 weeks ago for another woman.?
ByWe’ve been together since high school and we’ve been there for each other through thick and thin. He says that I have a better bond with my family than I have with him but that’s not true. He says that I don’t talk to him too much lately but that’s because I’ve gotten frustrated with his job situation. He hasn’t worked in over 4years because he went to jail and no one will hire a felon. But him not working wasn’t a problem. I know it’s hard out there to find work, I’ve even hit the pavement with him. I just figured if I’m at work all day I shouldn’t have to come home to a man sitting in front of the TV playing video games. So eventually I began to ignore him not knowing that I was slowly pushing him away. And the bad thing about it is, the girl he’s with has 4 kids, she’s on welfare(no offense to those who require public assistance) and she has a big house just 10 minutes away from me. He said that she’s able to take him around all day every day to job hunt and that she’s found him a job, and that now he can’t leave her because they have feelings for each other and he owes this to her. I’ve tried everything to get him to come back to me but it hasn’t worked. I called last night to see if he could come to any of the classes first time parents should attend like CPR/First Aid etc, and she answered the phone and said “let your mom do it with you. besides he’s eating my p_ _ _ y right now and I don’t want to disturb him.!” And she said he bought her a ring and their married. I almost passed out on the bedroom floor. On top of that she knows he has an STD and is willing to get it for the rest of her life just to say she has a man. What kind of woman is this. First of all, what kind of man would leave his first unborn son to be with a woman who has 4 bad ass kids? I know what I did was wrong apologized over and over again for neglecting him and being hormonal but our child may have special needs because of my certain health conditions and now I don’t have anyone to help me raise him. All I was trying to do was keep a roof over our heads and make an honest living. The sad thing about it is I still want him back despite what has happened within the past 3 weeks. We’ve been together since 1992 and I feel like my other half has been snatched away by a thief, I’ve lost 11 pounds and I know it’s due to stress. I keep my cell phone near me at all times just in case he calls and I pray every night that he’ll come back. But every day that goes by it seems highly unlikely. I don’t ever want to be like this girl and get so desperate for a man that I would be that ugly to the other woman who wants to make her family work. Now I’m confused as to whether I should give my son his last name or not, I feel that’s a privelage to have your name passed on. And I know if I call(if the number isn’t disconnected by then) to let him know I’m in delivery this other woman is not going to give him the message. So then I’ll be even more hurt. But anyway, she has her claws in him and she’s not letting go. I know I’m crazy for wanting back but I’m hurting so bad.
Our birthdays are a day apart and my son is due on his birthday. Since they may have to pull the baby early, I’m going to ask the Dr’s if they can schedule the C section as far away as they can.
14 Comments
March 24th, 2010 at 6:28 pm
ok i don’t really see a question that i am able to answer.
as for advice you already know what everyone is going to say…
forget about him. if he can act this way and move on so quickly with someone else then he didn’t care about you as much as you think he did.and if he cared about his unborn son you wouldn’t have to be chasing after him. he would be calling you. if this other woman isn’t going to let him go long enough to care about his unborn son then he isn’t worth it to begin with. don’t give your son his last name as far as it is looking now he won’t be any kind of father to him anyway. move on and forget about this guy he sounds like a looser anyway. and i get you have feelings for him but you have to do what’s best for your son and yourself and this guy sure as hell doesn’t seem like what’s best.
March 24th, 2010 at 6:41 pm
He doesn’t deserve you or the baby. he probably wanted somebody to pamper him and give him everything. My sister had the same problem and he still hasn’t change. just forget about him. you decide if you want to use his last name. be closer to your family they would care for you and the baby.
March 24th, 2010 at 6:52 pm
So sorry to be harsh but let’s face the facts here. He is a loser. She is a loser. You are a loser if you want him back. I feel sorry for your child because they will most likely be a loser too. It’s pretty messed up to talk about how desperate she is because she is with him knowing he has an STD. Guess what! That means so do you! SO You are just as desperate as her. Get a life and get over it!
March 24th, 2010 at 7:24 pm
You need to kick his behind to the curb. Why would you want a man with a STD, a criminal record and the inability to make a decent living? He was clearly doing these things before you got pregnant. I understand you want to have a nuclear family, but he seems like a deadbeat to begin with and you can do so much better! You need to focus on having a healthy child and not chase after this “man”. Remove yourself from that situation as the other woman could present more problems for you as well. I know it’s hard, but pray and stay focus on what your immediate goals are… the baby! If he wants to be with you, he’ll return otherwise he’s wasting your time. You can do it on your own! Many women have done it before you and many will do it in the future. Plus if he’s found work he can pay child support. Good luck. Keep your head up!
March 24th, 2010 at 7:40 pm
Honey, I’m so sorry. But you’re better off without him. If I man that can’t get a job to support and provide for you and your baby and then doesn’t understand that you wont quite be yourself when you’re pregnant and leaves you because of it… He’s not worth it sweetie. I know you love him, but he’s really not worth it. Focus all your love into your little baby. The baby deserves it a million times more than him.
March 24th, 2010 at 8:12 pm
Hi honey. I am sorry you are going through all of this. To be honest, you are better off with out him, and so is your baby. I know you miss him and feel hurt that he is not there, but you do not need a man like that in your life. If he was willing to go off with another woman, he is not worth being with anyways. I hope I do not upset you by that. You need a man who will stick with you through thick and thin, and not run away at the first sign of trouble. It sounds to me like he is wanting someone to take care of him like a mother and baby him. He could have had dinner ready for you or anything when you came home from work instead of playing video games. It really sounds like he needs to grow up and realize he had made a huge mistake in how he is living his life. If the other woman is talking to you like that and is even willing to take him knowing what is going on, then it sounds like she deserves him. He will probably leave her for someone else when times get tough and she can’t provide for him then she will see how it feels. You hang in there and be strong. You have a beautiful baby to look forward to that will need you very much. Take care of yourself and as hard as it is, try not to worry or think about that guy or the other girl. They are not worth stressing yourself our over. It sounds like you have a good relationship with your family, that is great. I’m sure they will give you much support that you need right now. I am praying for you and your sweet baby. Good luck and take care of yourself.
March 24th, 2010 at 8:16 pm
Classy.
Anyway, no don’t give the child his last name because it’ll complicate things later on. If you do get back together and get married THEN you can change the childs last name to his.
BUT personally I cannot believe anyone would want this guy, much less have two adult women fighting over him and jealous of each other. I mean really, he’s a felon, he’s been jobless for 4 years and he obviously has no loyalty or respect for you or your unborn son.
Its not about the other lady. If he wanted to be with you he would be with you. He’s making up excuses. Yes, I’m sure she’s tough to deal with but this is about you, your son and your sons dad, not her.
I would just move on. Do the single mom thing, find him a new dad, adopt out. Regardless of what you choose anything is better than having the dead weight of this jerk around hanging around you.
Besides, a father should be a role model, not a loser like this fool.
March 24th, 2010 at 8:58 pm
so you are telling me that you are a grown A** responsible working woman, who is carrying life inside of you and you are concerned with a young minded immature, unemployeed, boy who is assisting this woman in sucking the life out of our economy??? Any “man” who would allow another woman to disrespect his pregnant “ex” girlfriend is not worth the horse he rode in on… who cares if he isnt there when the baby is born, or isnt there at CPR etc… he clearly wont be there when you child is growing up he is proving that now… he seems awful selfish, and you seem awful pathetic calling over there and letting this mans immaturity jepordize your unborn child.. focus on you and the baby and forget the child!
March 24th, 2010 at 9:25 pm
I don’t think you are crazy for wanting him back. He is the crazy one – he left a woman he has been with for years, and whom he has a child with.. For a dirty little skank who says things like you mentioned above.
She sounds absolutely horrific and i am sorry to say babe, but maybe her easy and free lifestyle is exactly why he got with her, if he’s with someone who doesnt value moral standards or work – then he wont get pressured into standing up and being a man.
From what you have described, you have done nothing wrong. You certainly didn’t neglect him – that was the other way round im afraid!!
Im sorry you are hurting honey, these situations are always tough. The only thing i would suggest is changing your number and get some much needed support from your family. Whilst that slimeball knows he can contact you and mess with your head, he will continue to do so. He is probably enjoying the fact he will have you waiting in the wings for him..
Dont know what else to say sweetie.. But i wish you all the luck in the world.. xXx
March 24th, 2010 at 10:00 pm
WOW…THATS A VERY HARD SITUATION. I FEEL FOR YOU..NOT BEING IN YOUR SIT BUT I AM ALSO 6 MNTHS PREG AND CANT IMAGINE THAT PAIN. BUT LET ME START OFF BY SAYING…GOD HAS A PLAN FOR US. WHETER WE SEE IT AT THE MOMENT OR DISAGREE WITH WHAT IS GOING ON AT THE MOMENT HE KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON AND IF THAT MAN IS MEANT FOR U AND UR CHILD HE WILL BE BY UR SIDE. THAT IS A LONG TIME WITH SOME ONE AND I KNOW U GUYS MAY HAVE A LOT OF HISTORY TOGETHER AND THAT MAY BE THE WORST PART BUT WHAT DOES NOT KILL U MAKES U STRONGER. WHEN U HAVE THAT BABY, HE/SHE WILL BE THE MOST IMPORTANT PIORITIES IN UR LIFE. I HAVE BEEN WITH MY MAN FOR 3 YEARS NOW AND I SOMETIMES FEEL AS IF THINGS ARENT GOING TO LAST AND I TRY TO PREPARE MYSELF BECAUSE 3 YEARS HAVE FELT LIKE A LIFETIME. HE HAS BEEN WITH ME THROUGH THE HARDEST TIMES OF MY LIFE! SO ITS LIKE NOT BEING WITH HIM IS LOSING A PART OF ME. BUT I HAVE TO UNDERSTAND…WHAT I HAVE BROUGHT INTO THIS WORLD IS WHAT I NEED TO BE WORRING ABOUT..NOT A GUY OR MYSELF..EASIER TO SAY THAN TO DO..I KNOW BUT I PUT MY FAITH AND TRUST INTO GOD BELEIVING HE HAS A FUTURE FOR ME AND WHAT IS MEANT FOR ME AND NO ONE CAN TAKE IT AWAY AND IF IT DOES GO AWAY IT WILL BACK TO U..IF NOT..ITS JUST NOT FOR AND AT THE END ULL BE BETTER OFF. I HOPE I WAS A LITTLE HELP AND GOD BLESS U AND UR BABY!
March 24th, 2010 at 10:02 pm
My ex husband left me twice without word, just disappeared for weeks on end with other women when I was pregnant with our youngest child. We already had 2 kids, ages 7 and 3 and he bailed out,cleaned the bank account, abandoned the car (I had to hunt it down) and headed across country. I let him come back after that because I was at such a weak point. Pregnancy makes you feel like you NEED someone to get through everything. The funny thing was, that all the time I was alone I got by just fine. Not happy, there was a chunk of me missing too…but I got by.
It’s up to you how you handle it, but understand if you let him back, don’t expect him to stay. It’s just a band aid. It takes a special kind of loser to walk out on his pregnant girlfriend/wife/love and it takes an even more special kind of skank to think a guy like that is worth having around. They’re both so far beneath you girl. Be tough.
March 24th, 2010 at 10:29 pm
He’s a loser and you are lucky to be rid of him.
Focus on yourself and your baby, and DONT take him back if he arrives on bended knee begging forgiveness.
He has no future.
If you want your child to have a future, start role modelling the things you want the baby to learn. Like study. Like working.
This loser is never going to be any kind of role model, and while your heart is breaking now, safe bet you will look back in 5 years and see it for the close call with disaster he is.
Good luck with baby.
June 14th, 2010 at 7:26 am
Thats the main reason why men are called dogs, the guy is heartless, if you try to get back with him, he’ll just continue hurting you, av been there & I know what am talking about. Please I beg you dont suffer in the name of love. He doesnt deserve you girl, just commit everything in Gods hands & thank him for the blessing of a child. You are blessed.
July 29th, 2010 at 2:56 pm
Dear soon to be mommy,
I have a new baby boy, he is only 7 months old. His name is Ian Lightfoot. His biological father Eric B. Lightfoot does not want anything to do with his baby boy. Eric comes from an abusive mother who is an alcoholic. He doesn’t tell me this, but it is obvious. I love Eric with all my heart. But, I love myself more. You are not alone. When I was pregnant he also brought me home, from one of those military trips, an STD. Lucky me I was able to get rid of that STD. Do you believe in karma? Honey, let me tell you… It is true what goes around comes around. It is normal you are going thru an emotional wreck. I know I was, I loved Eric so much and I wanted him to be with me. I was strong enough to let him go. His reason for leaving us was “he wanted to meet new people”. Ian has been born and he doesn’t even see him. I don’t wish this on anyone, it is lame. He is a dead beat dad. A bitch ass niggie… Nd so is the baby of your son. Be strong, better yourself. He will suffer when his time comes. However, do not punish yourself or that beautiful baby. That baby is a product of the love both of you had. Enjoy him, he is a blessing. I have no clue why that guy left you with your baby (tears are coming out of my eyes) honey. You or anyone does not deserve that. You don’t deserve that. Be strong, love your child and above all keep your head up. As I am……now. Its going to be hard…..be tuff……