Lord of the Flies this is only one para. read it and tell me if it is written properly or if any mistakes?

Its fine.. its written properly and its good. =D =D =D

I would suggest re-ordering the first few sentences. Other than that there’s just a couple grammar/spelling mistakes I saw. Here’s how I would have done it:

The boys quickly lose their identity physically as well as mentally. Jack and his hunters want to have fun and hunt pigs as long as they are on the island. He is one of the first boys to lose his identity and convert himself to a savage that has no concern for humanity. Whenever Jack sees a pig the desire to kill and a rush of “madness comes into his eyes.”

Jack and his hunters paint their faces in order to capture pigs, “they understand only too well the liberation into savagery the concealing paint brings.” When they capture the pigs they abandon the rules of civilization and stop caring that they are taking the life of a living and breathing thing. As they take the pig’s life they all have knowledge inside of them that “they are outwitting a living thing, imposing their will upon it taking away its life like a long satisfying drink.” Ralph, Piggy, and Simon try to maintain order on the island but Jack and his desire to bring evil to the island overpowers the good.

I see many spelling, punctuation and grammatical errors.